One of the biggest threats to the
health of young children and the success of our society largely goes
undetected—mental illness. Mental
illness has a cumulative effect on our populations with many parents going untreated
for their mental illness and either passing it along to their children
genetically and/or environmentally. As
more violent crimes and school shooting are being carried out by children/teens
suffering from mental illness, we are just now beginning to pay closer attention. The statistics are staggering and provide a universal calling for a change in the way we look at and treat mental illness across the
globe. “Overall, 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression.
More than half aren't getting the help they need, and that the problem is
growing worse…The
World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that the five developed countries
with the highest rates of any kind of diagnosed mental health problems (including
substance abuse) are Colombia, France, the Ukraine, New Zealand and the United
States, according to a 2009 report” (Niller, 2012). Wow.
If 350 million people are suffering from depression or mental illness,
how many children are at risk of developing mental illnesses or disorders of
their own?
My ex-boyfriend suffered from
addictions, mental illness and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Mental illness had wreaked havoc on his
family since he was a small child, and in adulthood, he was required by family
and society to take a look at his own. In
an effort to help him win his battle, we often had many discussions about his
childhood. His mother was wrongly
diagnosed schizophrenic when she was actually suffering from M.S. She was institutionalized when my ex was a
toddler severely disrupting their bonding and secure attachment. His father struggled to deal
with the circumstances of being a single parent with two young boys, and often
resorted to alcoholism and anger to mask his grief and sadness over the loss of
his living wife. As a result, my ex and
his brother were often left to fend for themselves begging for food and other
needs from close relatives and neighbors.
His brother seemed to model himself more after his father resorting to
violence and abuse to deal with his emotions; he went into the military. My ex took another approach and dissociated
from himself, which can be considered one of the beginning stages of Narcissistic
Personality Disorder (NPD). According to
WebMD:
“The exact cause of
narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health
professionals believe it results from a combination of factors that may include
biological vulnerabilities, social interactions with early caregivers, and
psychological factors that involve temperament and the ability to manage
stresses. Some researchers believe that narcissistic personality disorder may
be more likely to develop when children experience parenting styles that are
excessively pampering, or when parents have a need for their children to be
talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other
end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the
result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority
figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by adolescence or
early adulthood when personality traits have become consolidated.”
My ex used to say that the only
time he felt special was when the extended family gathered together and they
would ask him to sing and dance for them.
The result was that he became a highly successful musician with over 15
top 10 hits. However, he also had
created a life that mirrored his own childhood.
He suffered greatly from depression and addictions attending over a
dozen different rehab facilities and 5 psychiatric hospitals. He abandoned his own children and unconsciously
contributed to the same cycle of destruction for another generation. He could not sustain close relationships and
lacked self-esteem, empathy or a moral compass. Even with all his success, he
suffered greatly on a daily basis. Children don't have the capacity to understand the motivations of adult behavior and the result of the inevitable neglect or abuse resulting from a parent's mental illness often leaves the child with internalized (often hard-wired) feelings of shame, guilt, and loss of self-esteem that will effect the rest of their lives. I often wonder that if proper acknowledgment, understanding, and treatment were more accessible, how many lives would be saved from internal ruin.
As a result, I’ve been very
interested in what I could do as an early childcare professional to help
children avoid these outcomes in the future.
From our studies we know that the mental health of a parent can be a stressor that causes problems
for their children biosocially, cognitively, and psychosocially. Even those parents who are diagnosed with
lesser forms of depression leave that imprint on their children who often carry
those characteristics into adulthood without ever knowing why. To be able to intervene in a family’s welfare
in a meaningful way means that childcare professionals must use their
observation skills, listen intently, and establish trust with the parents in
order to encourage them to seek professional mental help in order to avoid
undesirable and unintended outcomes for their children. We must find ways to lift the taboos around
this subject and talk about it openly as it doesn’t just effect one child or
one family, but it’s effect both long and short-term leave a devastating mark
on the overall health of our society as a whole.
References:
Eric Niller, 2012
