Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Prior to this week's assignment in my Master's program, I had never heard of the term"microaggressions".  What are they?  What do they mean?  As I've come to learn, microaggressions are statements of bias, stereotypical beliefs, or unintentional racial slurs made by individuals without malice or ill-intent.  For example, an Asian-American friend of mine says people are often surprised to find out that she was born in America.  While that reaction hardly seems aggressive, it is, in fact, the cumulative effects of continually being questioned about her nationality that makes her feel like a foreigner in her own land; such sentiments can lead to feelings of inferiority or of being an outsider to the dominant group.

This week, we were challenged to observe ourselves and others in an effort to detect these types of microaggressions in everyday verbal interactions.  It did not take long to see many instances of such behaviors play out in public areas, at work, and even on the phone with friends and relatives.  However, I seemed to be observing others making microaggressions against others.  It wasn't until I experienced it myself that I truly understood the concept.

A conversation began with a group of co-workers about growing up in the 50's.  A white,  40 yr. old male co-worker turned to me and said, "Man, I would have loved to have lived in the 50's..wouldn't it have been so cool?"  First of all, I'm a woman, and I hate being referred to as a man or dude.  Second of all, my response was, "Uh, maybe...If I were a man."  "What's that supposed to mean; why has it always got to be about being a man?!", he replied.  I answered, "Because that's exactly what it was about...It wasn't such a great time for women or people of color."  To which he came back with a big "whatever" and walked away.  By doing so, he completely invalidated the struggle of women and people of color were going through at that time in history by instead focusing of some superficial aspects of society or pop-culture such as classic cars, musical or clothing trends and the like.  The truth was that I felt he was actually oblivious to any of that struggle, and why shouldn't he be.   He was born a member of the dominant group as an upper middle-class, white male.  When in history has a member of his group been oppressed?  As a result of the conversation, I was labeled by him to be a feminist (a term delivered with a derogatory tone).  He at no time considered himself to be arrogant, racist, gender biased or aggressive during this conversation, but, regardless, his statements did not make me feel good.  I found myself on the defensive needing to justify my argument and my stance in support of women, hoping to educate him on some different perspectives.  However, it fell on deaf ears, and he walked away.  So, this is microaggression.  Now I know.

Truthfully, there are thousands of incidents that take place like this across America everyday.  A gay friend is asked to help decorate your apartment because of the stereotypical belief that all gay men are good decorators.  A Mexican-American girl turns down a ride with an Asian-American friend because she believes a stereotype about Asian driving skills.  A person born in American is being asked yet again by another American what country they are from.  These types of statements, bias, stereotypes and racial slurs have become so common place, how can we being to stop them?

Here is where our experience in ECE has the power to intervene.  In preschool classrooms, we often talk about the power of our words and the impact they may have on others.  Children have a right to choose their words and use them.  Preschool teacher's have an obligation to help children understand how to choose their words wisely.  By making children conscious of their choices when speaking to others, we help to establish in them a foundation of awareness about how their words and actions can impact others.  In doing so, we help them develop perspectives, alternatives, respect and empathy that can lead to more conscious living in adulthood as well.  We've all heard the saying, "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  However, this is not a positive rhyme for the times, in my opinion.  Words have power.  Words have an impact.  Words can be aggressive.  And, it's time we told children the truth about that.  Through reflective anti-biased practices, anti-biased education, open communication and respect, we have the power to teach children a different way to interact with each other--one that is more consciously based on respect for others and their differences.  Imagine...what kind of cumulative effect that could have on society?

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

This week, while working as a server in a restaurant, an interesting conversation emerged with some of my guests.  A rich, white, heterosexual male made a comment to be about managing the restaurant.  I explained that I was only working there part time to support myself through a Master's program in Teaching and Diversity in ECE.  He responded to me in Spanish, "Yo soy perdido."  I was both shocked and confused by his response as I'm a white woman who studied French but understands a little Spanish.  "I don't understand", I said, "you're lost?"  "No," he said as he corrected himself, "I am learning."  However, he was unaware of the lesson I was about to teach him.

When I asked him out of curiosity why he chose to speak to me in Spanish, he explained it was because I said I was studying diversity.  His wife and mother immediately chimed in with an explanation about how cultural diversity in America is about more than the Hispanic population.  As a retired elementary teacher, his mother offered several references to ethnic diversity in her classrooms such as Asian-American, Russian and African-American. Obviously feeling a little uncomfortable, the man explained that he worked in the world of high finance and that many of his clients were Muslims, Sikhs, and Latinas.  The mixed reference  between religious groups, ethnic groups and (unintentional) gender groups actually made me a little uncomfortable as I realized that this highly educated man had never deeply thought of cultural diversity or it's many complex forms.

At the risk of my tip, I continued to engage in a challenging conversation with this man not because I needed to prove him wrong, but because I wanted to educated him on the importance of supporting culture, diversity and education at the preschool level.  As a part of the dominant culture, he controls much of the social, political and economic power in society which in tern effects many aspects of early childhood education.  When he commented that he did not have children, I took it as an opportunity to make him realize that his "Muslim, Sikh and Latina" clients probably do.  As well, with minority populations on the rise in America, more and more diversity will be represented in positions of power and social influence; by teaching children to respect diversity and culture early in life, we prepare them for peaceful race relations and social compromise.  ECE is not merely for individuals and their families, it is for the advancement of society at large.  By understanding how we are all uniquely, individually and culturally interconnected especially through the world of ECE, we not only make great advancements toward positive outcomes for children, but efforts to restore tolerance, education and respect in society.  The entire conversation was a wonderful exercise in relating my studies to real world scenarios for others outside the field and understanding how much a brief conversation with a stranger could impact their relation to young children and the ECE field.

My Family Culture

My Master's class, Perspectives on Diversity and Equity in ECE, has a special assignment for this week...

Imagine the following:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

I must admit, this exercise sparked some deep thoughts and feelings about the three items that I would choose to represent my family culture.  Culture is not just about race or religion, it permeates every aspect of how we live, behave, and express ourselves from our language, gestures, food, clothing, traditions, music and so on.  Having had some experience living overseas in communities very different from my own culture, I reflected on those experiences and what familiarities about my own culture I longed for the most.  

The first item I would choose would be a seed pouch filled with various seeds collected from our family gardens.  Food is such a rich aspect of any culture and is an important part of my family.  Ever since I can remember, there has been a garden in my family that we used to grow many of the herbs and vegetables used in family recipes that not only marked our celebrations but flavored our everyday lives.  Traditional southern ingredients such as corn, beans, squash, black-eyed peas, heirloom tomatoes and collard greens would certainly be included.  While our traditional family recipes can be carried anywhere in our hearts and minds, having the ability to cultivate and sustain the ingredients necessary to re-create these dishes in a foreign country would certainly always allow us a familiar taste of home. 

The second item I would choose is my Granny's cast-iron skillet.  This particular piece of cookware has been in my family for generations and is seasoned with love. The foods we like to eat are just as much a part of family culture as the way we like prepare them.  No matter where our family was displaced, foods prepared in a traditional way with a familiar family heirloom will remind us of many family gatherings, traditions, celebrations and special moments we have shared together and with those who are no longer with us.

The third item I would choose would be the family photo album.  Photographs collected over our lifetime document many aspects of our family culture that I would want to preserve.  Photographs often inspire stories about specific memories of events, timelines, and family values.  By using the photographs to spark our memories and share our stories, we help preserve our family culture not only for ourselves, but for future generations.

If, upon arrival, I were required to give up all but one item, how would I choose? Given my experience living overseas, I recall the joy of finding a familiar food item in a grocery store and the pleasure of improvising to re-creating my family recipes so far away from home.  However, Gran always said, "Never forget who you are and where you came from."  Taking that lesson to heart, I would have to choose my family photo album.  Having a concrete reminder of my family history, photos to jog our memories and inspire us to tell stories in our native language would give us all great comfort in a foreign land.  For even though I longed for a taste of home while living across the world, nothing was more satisfying than re-connecting with my family through language, stories and photographs.  By saving our family photo album, we are reminded of how united we are as a family, are able to celebrate our specific culture and traditions, and can preserve our memories of our heritage for future generations.  In this way, hopefully, we can follow Gran's advice by keeping our family culture alive...no matter where we find ourselves. 

This exercise helped me to see some of the tough decisions and realities facing many of the immigrant and refugee populations becoming displaced from their own culture. Recognizing how important it must be for their families to preserve and celebrate their own culture and sense of belonging in the world, I now also recognize on a much deeper level how comforted, appreciative and touched they would be to find that their child's preschool teacher is not only willing to work to help preserve, honor and celebrate it with them, but also willing to welcome their unique perspective into the community.