My Personal Childhood Web

My family.

A childhood web recognizes the most important component in any child's life...relationships.  Our primary relationships in early childhood impact who we are and shape our lives in many ways.  This is an exploration of my personal childhood web,  and how the people closest to me have influenced the child I was as well as the person that I am today.  I feel very fortunate to have been born into such a loving and caring family.

My mother, Cindy: 

  My mother has had such a powerful impact on my life that it's hard to put it all into words.  When I was young, she was a stay-at-home mom caring for me and other small children in the home for extra income.   As the baby of the family, I enjoyed being her helper and was often praised for doing so.  With her as my primary role model, it's no coincidence that I became a preschool teacher.  She was always kind and loving, but not the type to hover or dote.   What I remember most about her during my early childhood was that she was always "doing"...crafting, cooking, gardening, cleaning, sewing as well as a myriad of other tasks.  What is so special looking back is that she not only modeled these important life skills, but always made time for me and included me in these activities and/or shared her "real-life" materials and tools for my own imaginary play.  If I needed curtains for my fort, she asked few questions, gave me supplies, and sent me off.  If I was pretending to shop, she gave me her old checkbook and a pen.  If I wanted to enter a pie contest, she helped me make it extra special.  If I wanted to go explore the woods behind my house with a neighbor, she inspected my clothing, warned me about snakes, and told me to come home when I heard her whistle.  What she did in all of these scenarios was allow me the freedom to BE a kid without being constantly managed.  In many ways this gave the the courage and confidence I needed to fully explore the world as an adult.  The heroism I see in her did not come from any one specific event (although I can name a few that are worthy), rather it came from her everyday, continual and constant, loving presence, support and commitment to our family.  I'm truly grateful and treasure my early childhood memories with her.

My father, Walt:

 My father has been a wonderful influence on my life.  He's a gentle, kind, patient and fair man with an inner strength and confident nature.  He always made me feel loved, safe, and secure.  I was certainly daddy's girl, but he accepted me for who I was and enjoyed my tom-boy personality.  He taught me a love and appreciation for nature and the outdoors that I am so grateful to have ingrained in me as an adult.  He often had me accompany him on hunting and fishing excursions where we would spend hours quietly exploring and observing animal tracks, plants and trees, rocks and so forth.  Only as an adult did I realize that "The Old Indian" (as we often call him) was modeling invaluable life/survival and spiritual skills to me.  He was also a handy-man who seemed be able to fix or build anything.  He, too, freely shared his tools and supplies for my own adventures.  When he realized I had used all his scrap wood to build a fort in a tree six feet off the ground, he didn't criticize.  He simply helped me  reinforce it to make it safer and reminded me not to wear a skirt. He not only supported me in the sports I wanted to play, but took the time to be my coach.  Although he was very busy in my early childhood starting his own business, he always found time to make me feel special.  I could always come to him with anything, and never felt like a bother... even when I interrupted his task to tie a hook on a string for me to go crawdad fishing and the barb got stuck in his thumb.  I watched him pull it out himself without a single tear or cross word taking care not to make me feel like it was my fault.  That day and every day in my life, he's been my hero.   I feel very lucky to have had such a special man to call my dad.  

My sister, Terri:

Terri is my half-sister from my mother's first marriage although she's always just been my big sis.  She's eight years older than I and has been a powerful influence in my life.  Her personality has always been kind, careful and caring.  Although I'm sure I was often an annoying pest to her, she never made me feel that way.  Her patience with me was saintly.  I remember her singing, playing the piano, and sharing her love for music with me (by never getting mad when I listened to her records).  She took an active interest in me and did her best to even include me in her school or church activities like small extra parts in a musical she was in.  She always took the time to truly compliment, encourage me or go out of her way to make me feel special (even just by braiding my hair).  I've honestly felt her love and support every day of my life; she's my biggest cheerleader to this day.  I'm so thankful to have her as my sister.

My sister, Meloney:

Mel is my half-sister from my father's first marriage.  She's seven years older and only got to visit every other weekend.  Although she didn't live with me, there's nothing that makes us any less than full sisters at heart.  Her personality has always been confident, outgoing, and adventurous.  She was always excited to see me and never hesitated to show her love.  She taught me how to just "Go for it!", which I'm sure caused a lot of gasps from our parents at the time, but today is the attitude that helps boost my confidence when I need it.  She's always been a star in my world, and I'm so grateful to still have her special influence in my life today. 

My foster brother, Johnny:

He would probably be very surprised to find me writing about him, but he did have a powerful impact on my life.  Johnny was a boy about ten years older that my parents wanted to adopt.  His parents, however, would not allow the adoption, so he became my foster brother for about 4 years.  He would be allowed to leave the orphanage to spend summers and holidays with us.  I was about two when Johnny first arrived, and I loved having him as part of our family.  He showered me with love and attention by teasing, tickling and playing games with me.  He took the time to write me letters and keep us all included in his life and interests as best he could.  I felt very special in his eyes and in many ways wonder if he was not my first childhood love. (Note to self:  See your therapist!)   My parents taught us to value Johnny as a member of our family, but to understand he didn't always know how to abide by our rules.  He was a troubled child, and his family situation was not as fortunate as mine.  The whole scenario taught me compassion and acceptance.  Unfortunately, part of that acceptance meant that he would come and go in my life and eventually, never return.  I suppose I'm including him here to extend my thanks and honor his special role in my life.  I still love and wish him well.  

My grandparents:

Both sets of grandparents in my life had an active role in my childhood.  They were all the keepers of traditions, history and special family recipes.  However, I spent most of my time with my Nannie and Papa, my maternal grandparents.  I would spend many of my weekends with them.  My Papa was a jokester and loved to tease and make me laugh.  He would let me come to the golf course with him, drive his cart, and then take me to have Shirley Temples with him in the clubhouse.  Nannie was the sweetest, kindest, most loving woman--simply my favorite person.  Every Friday night, she would take me to eat at my favorite restaurant, Taco Tico,  to get a candy and comic book from 7-11, and then home to play checkers or cards.  Although I had lost them both by the age of eight, I truly treasure the time I did have with them in my life.  They both made me feel so very special to them and never hesitated to show their love.  They were integral to the joy, security, magic and wonder I came to know as a young child.  I recently found a hand-written note from my Nannie that simple reads, "Have a wonderful day, and take care of yourself."  It's now on my fridge and one of my most prized possessions.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss them.

There are so many others like my next door neighbor Cathy and her family, my best friend Casie, my Kindergarten teacher and Sunday school teacher.  The list goes on and on.  As I look back and reflect, I realize just how lucky I was to be born into this family, at this time, and in this space in the world.  From the bottom of my heart, thanks to all that have helped me to grow and shaped me into the person I am today.  You all continue to inspire and influence me.  Although I do not have children of my own, I've taken a care-giver role in dozens of children's lives to date.  In gratitude to all that influenced me, may I carry your loving spirits and blessings to all the interactions I have with young children today.  May I always remember that I, too, may have a lasting impact on their lives with my spirit and the opportunity to celebrate how special they are by getting to know them... and their families.