Relationship Reflection

Ahhh..., summer.  A time for many families to load up and take a long road trip to an exciting destination.  After all that close family time in the car, I wonder how many are feeling like they'd rather throw themselves out of the window than actually get to Disneyland.  Even the most positive family relationships can drive us crazy from time to time.  Yet, they are often the most important factor in our lives.  When adults are asked about the meaning of life, the majority will respond that at the end of the day, it's all about family.  As an early childhood professional, I know that relationships play a major role in the healthy development of a child, and that at the end of our day in the classroom, it's also all about family.

In a preschool classroom, we spend a lot of time talking about our families in both formal and informal ways.  "Your mommy is going to love that picture", or, "Is your daddy picking you up today?" But what do we really know about the families of our students?  Often during story time or before nap, I will share personal stories about my family with the children.  I choose from several botched summer vacation trips, my mother's mid-life crisis when she got a pet pig, my teenage sisters pushing me in the river while camping, or my father coaching me through my first dives off the high board.  After reflection on all of these childhood memories, I begin to see just how much these relationships have shaped me into the person I am today, and how much I value them.  Though vacation meltdowns seemed catastrophic in the moment, we were in it together; triumphant or not, we grew closer and created memories we still laugh about today.  Although I was terribly embarrassed by my mother's pet pig, I now look back with such pride and a smile at her unique way of coping with a difficult time in her life. And although my teenage sisters pulled all kind of stunts to find alone time from their pesky little sister, they have become my mentors, best friends and greatest supporters.  I also realize that my father was a great coach by simply showing up and being present to lovingly help me challenge and overcome my fears--a lesson I've carried throughout life though it all took place in one summer afternoon at the pool.

The point is that these everyday moments with family in childhood are what shape us into the people we are as adults.  Children may not always have the words to express how they feel about their families or the cognitive ability to understand all of their family dynamics, but they are usually willing to tell you a story about them.  As preschool teachers, we need to find time to inquire more into children's lives with their families by not only engaging the child, but creating opportunities for the parents to share family stories themselves.  As active listeners, through these stories we are often able to identify strengths and weaknesses within these relationships that may need special attention or benefit from community resources.  Often, by causally sharing comments a child makes during class with a parent, we are able to open a much deeper dialogue about the intricacies of their particular family dynamic, customs or values.  Learning and engaging more with the parents and families of our students gives us a broader picture of the whole child, helps us create family partnerships, fosters respect and establishes a more cohesive learning experience between the home and school environment.

So whether your family is more National Lampoon or Brady Bunch, take advantage of the extra sunlight this summer and spend more time making memories with your kids.  It's not just about the perfect vacation, the best toys or the coolest video games; it's about creating laughs, life-lessons, partnerships, and enduring relationships.  It's about creating well-rounded, healthy, well-adjusted human beings out of your children.  It's about family.  I'll look forward to hearing all of the stories this fall!

PS:  My mother would like to add... it was more than just her pet pig that made her unique!  And I agree.