Conflict Resolution

Currently, I am having a conflict with my boss at work.  Since he is the owner of the establishment, there is no one else to talk to about the issue or to help us manage the conflict.  During a disagreement this week, I was proud of myself for not letting my emotions get the best of me and remaining calm and capable of sharing my feelings.  I practiced several Non Violent Communication strategies including active listening, paraphrasing back to check for clarity, and searching for other possible compromises.  However, my boss was unbending.  He was trying to apologize to me, but could not stay on topic, talked for 20 minutes without asking me one question, and could not make eye contact during the whole conversation.

Needless to say, I'm frustrated.  And, although I feel like I have tried many strategies to assist in productive communication, it is not happening.  While I cannot escape this situation (unless I quit), I can learn to manage it for myself even if I cannot come to some resolution with my boss.  "It is important to note that productive conflict does not necessarily mean a successful resolution of conflict.  Results of a recent study on dating couples revealed that most conflicts do not result in resolution, and that a couples' satisfaction is determined more by the strategies used to manage conflict than the outcome of the argument (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 221).

While I feel very fortunate NOT to be dating my boss, I have realized that I have other solutions to the problem beyond resolution.  One strategy I am implementing is to not take anything he has to say about me personally.  Another strategy I'm using is conflict avoidance by accepting his ideas about his business even if I disagree.  By refusing to enter into a power struggle or a conversation that is unproductive, I am managing my conflict with my boss.  And, although we have not been able to resolve our conflict, I am a much happier person not allowing the conflict to dictate my emotions, goals or ability to work effectively.  "To believe that conflict can be productive rather than destructive, you have to actively engage in it" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 221).  While I feel I gave my best attempt at productive resolution, further attempts I feel will only be more destructive to my work environment.  I guess it is as they say even with all our NVC strategies and positive communication skills; sometimes, we have to just agree to disagree, right?

Reference:
O'Hair D., & Wiemann, M., (2012).  Real communication:  An introduction.  Bedford/St. Martin's.
     New York.