Model Communicator

When asked to think of a model communicator within a certain context, the first example that comes to mind is my father.  However, it's not always what my father says, but the way he says it that makes him such an effective communicator.  His style of communication has earned him the nickname, "Old Indian", in our family and accurately demonstrates some aspects of his demeanor.  His nature is quiet yet strong; his attitude is reverent and positive.  He holds himself with confidence without arrogance and always seems to remain calm and collected enough to respond to others verses reacting to them.

Growing up, there was never a time when I can remember my father raising his voice or yelling. When discipline was necessary, he took his time to respond to the situation, and never reacted in anger.  Many times, my mistaken behavior happened during the day while he was at work and was relayed to him by my mother.  Thinking back, I truly appreciate his approach to the situation by taking the time to ask me questions in a calm tone about the situation, and not just taking my mother's word/side of things.  He engaged me in a communication exchange and explained things to me in a language that I could understand.  If punishment was still required, it was always given at a later moment and although I didn't like it, I never feared it, which really allowed the words of guidance to sink in.

He also employs a wonderful communication strategy of calling out the obvious in a jovial, non-threatening way, keeping the focus, and allowing others time to answer their own questions.  His way of explaining things often involves allowing others the room to make mistakes and then talking through solutions.  I remember as a young child climbing too high in a tree in the backyard.  When I called out to him for help, his response was with a half laugh, "What are you doing climbing so high if you're scared to come down? How did you get up there?  Just calm down, you're OK, and think about retracing your steps down the same way you went up."  Had he yelled at me to get down, it would not have helped me solve my problem.  If he had reacted and climbed up to save me, I would have never learned to find the confidence to get myself out of this and other sticky situations.

I hope to model and possess this same type of communication style with young children.  With effective communication through my body language, demeanor, tone and volume of voice, I can properly respond to learning opportunities and teaching moments in a way that can allow young children to receive the message as responsive, kind, and supportive as well as to learn lessons that will carry them far beyond my classroom.  In any situation with young children, parents, co-workers, friends and strangers, I try to remember the example my father modeled.  By learning to take a step back, asking questions, listening to responses and controlling my own emotions and/or reactions, I am more likely to achieve effective communication in all areas of my life, and, hopefully, model it for others.